You don't have to read this one

Have you ever just sat in one spot for minutes at a time and thought about everything and nothing at the same time? And your favorite song with your favorite line in it was playing in the background. A song like "Asleep" by The Smiths. And inside of you... there was this feeling of complete confusion, but also of complete understanding about people and why they are the way that they are. This probably makes no sense unless this has actually happened to you. It's hard to describe, and I know I'm not making any sense right now. And for some reason I am okay with that. I just need to write. I don't understand things sometimes, and so I write. And I listen to music. And I try to understand the things I don't understand. And sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't. I can't sleep tonight. I can't sleep any night, actually. Every night brings new thoughts and headaches for me. I wouldn't complain so much on here if people actually read this. But I know that they don't, so I feel comfortable with complaining. It's what is inside of me. And, fuck, it's hard to find any truth lately. At least within myself. I feel like by writing this I might not even be telling the truth. What is the truth? The real feelings inside of me. I don't even know anymore. This world, this generation, has corrupted me. I am so far from myself. Where is my mind? Ha... The Pixies. They knew the truth. They are the truth. Tonight wasn't good. I wish I could fix myself.

Figure yourself out:

"Fix You" by Coldplay

"Follow The Arrow" by Rosi Golan (Too happy. Listen to this if you don't feel like I do)

"Shape Of Things To Come" by Audioslave

"Evening Kitchen" by Band of Horses*

The Commander Thinks Aloud" by The Long Winters

"The Park" by Feist

"Blowin' In The Wind" by Bob Dylan

"What It Takes" by The Real Tuesday Weld (I hope one person listens to this... and I hope that it applies to them)

"Breathe" by Ryan Star

"Have you Forgotten" by Red House Painters* (Listen to this when you feel like you have nothing left)

Love

I love you.
All of you.
Every inch of skin you have on your imperfectly perfect bodies.
I love your diseases, your sicknesses, your struggles.
I love you no matter what.
I love you, even when you feel like no one else in this world loves you.
I love you so much, because you are imperfect.
Because those imperfections are you.
The literal definition of imperfect is: "not perfect, faulty."
To me, you are in no way faulty.
The definition of imperfect TO ME is this:
Quirky, individualistic, free, true.
It is so important in this world to be true.
True to yourself.
Because every one of you has a beautiful soul, one that you should wear proudly.
You may not love me, and most likely you don't, but that's okay.
Hopefully one day you will see this and realize that love is the key to life.
Hopefully one day you will see the people around you, your equals, in the way that I see them: with love.
Hopefully one day you love them, all of them, if you don't already.
Our world needs you to love one another.
Love the "nerd" who believes that there isn't anyone out there who cares.
Love your mom, because I can assure you she loves you with every single ounce of her body and soul.
Love your teachers, the ones who work so hard to give you knowledge.
Love your enemy, the one who might need your love the most of all.
Love is the only gift given to us.
Use it.
Please.

Love, Bre

Only one song for today:
"Life Is Beautiful" by Vega 4

And also the most important part,
The reason why I am feeling this way is because I just read an amazing letter, which I think that each and everyone person in the world should read. It is long, so make sure that you have a good 10-20 minutes to read and digest it. Maybe less time or maybe more, depends on the type of person you are. This letter has changed my thinking about life, which was the purpose of it. I am so blessed to have read it. Please, all I ask is that you read it. You won't regret it. The link is below.

http://www.actualsanity.com/

^^^^^^^^Letter^^^^^^^^^^

"Oh, Inverted World..."

Have you ever watched a movie and just... felt it? Or listened to a song, and felt the words and the instruments move through your body like a current. The feelings touch every fiber in your body and spark something real. The connection that you have with something like music or a movie is just so fantastic... You try, with all that you have, to describe it. I, of course, just watched Garden State. If you haven't seen it, stop reading this blog. Stop now. Go to the video store and rent it. If they don't have it, go to another video store. You do not stop until you find that movie. Every time I watch this movie, I want to (and well, do) cry. And not for the typical reasons that someone cries in a movie. The love story, the deaths, the ultimate triumph of the protagonist. Granted, those are all ingredients to a brilliant movie. But they aren't in the meat of the story. The truth and the message of the story. That is what makes me cry. The connection that this movie can make with just about everyone. What a wonderful feeling it is to know that you aren't alone in this confusing world. What an amazing feeling it is to know that it is okay to be weird and silly and awkward and loud and quiet and anything you want to be. If there is one thing, only one, that I must choose to derive from this movie, it is hope. A huge reason for the feelings that come from this movie is the soundtrack. This movie is solely based around one of the greatest bands of all time (granted, I am biased... they are one of my favorite bands of all times): The Shins. Which is why I have two homework assignments for anyone who could possibly ever read this blog, whether it be this week, next month, or years from now. First, rent Garden State. Watch it, and learn from it. Second, go to either http://www.theshins.com/ and watch the videos that they have under "Media" or youtube.com and search Sub Pop Records and listen to every Shin video they have. Breathe in the pure glory of the songs. Sink them in. Let the lyrics move through you! Let all of it take you over and give you the answers to life. That is what Garden State and The Shins have done for me. I hope they can do the same for you, too.

Love, Bre

The Shins: My Personal Favorites:
"New Slang"*
"Australia"
"Gone For Good"
"Know Your Onion!"
"Those To Come"
"A Comet Appears"
"The Past And The Pending"
"Caring is Creepy"
"Red Rabbits"
"Sea Legs"
"Saint Simon"*

Throughly Apologetic

Hello, blog.
I owe you quite a large apology. I have not written in you since November 15th of last year. I have an easy explanation  which I hope that you accept. On November 26th of last year, I found my happiness. This blog was a way for me to write my feelings out, because for the most part, I didn't have much happiness. But November 26th, 2010, was when my love began. And even though I hate to admit it, a guy kept me from writing. I wish that my own will and love of writing would have pulled through and made time for you, blog. But I was too preoccupied with my life and my new relationship. But now, I am on summer vacation! Which means, more time for me to write. More quality time for me and my words :) My happiness, my love and I, are infinitely happy. I am in love! And boy, is it wonderful. I see sunlight wherever I go. I crave his warmth when he isn't near. I hear my favorite love songs play in my head when I look into his blue eyes. "Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing!" as the movie goes. Anyhow, I mustn't bother you with my going-ons. I will get to my point; my music. This post's theme is love. Suprised? I knew you would be. There are many kinds of love, all of which are important: friendship, family, romantic. Hell, I even find love is words. I wonder if I can define word love. Hm. Word Love (n): "The intense satisfaction upon writing, hearing, speaking, or reading a word or combination of words." Meh. It is late, and that will do for now. Revisions to definition: Coming Soon! That is all for me. I'm spent! Goodnight, good-morning, good-day; Wherever you are in the world, I salute you! Go soak in your love. Trust me, it's all around you.

Love, Bre

Lovely, lovely, love songs:
"The Girl" by City and Colour
"Here's A Love Song" by Syd
"Made Up Lovesong #43" by Guillemots*
"Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls (I know, I know, "let's be original". But you all know that this song is essential to life!)
"Breathe Me" by Sia
 "Strange Powers" by The Magnetic Fields
"What If You" by Joshua Radin
"1,000 Things" by Jason Mraz*
"Us" by Regina Spektor
"You Picked Me" by A Fine Frenzy
"A Pair of Brown Eyes" by The Pogues